Back in Washington I
struggled to write because I felt hollow, furious and homesick but now I’m in
my country where my heart and body belongs yet I’m still struggling with
writing too, the struggle is the same but the emotions are different where now
I’m flooded with emotions. Lot of ideas and thoughts are swimming in my head
and I can’t find the lifeguard that pulls them out of the confusion pool. Today
I’m forcing myself to write and each one of you is going to be the victim of
the war that’s between my pen and me.
One of the techniques that my
mentor taught me is to write nonstop, let the words cover the plain paper;
don’t leave a space just write! I tried to pull out that technique from my
journal and apply it on my life when I was away but no matter how hard I try to
fill that plain life I end up getting lost, wandering why the Maitha in USA
can’t be like the Maitha in UAE? I reached a level where I let go of myself and
let the surroundings lead me to the unknown. Days passed and some got harder
and I felt numb in other days but two weeks ago I came back to my real home
where my heart and soul felt sheltered.
Once I stepped on our home’s
ground I felt that everything is falling in place and no more falling apart. No
more fake smiles that stand before a broken lost heart, those were replaced by a
truthful smile and happy laughter. I always felt that I’m a step behind and for
now I don’t know if I’m moving forward but what I know is that I’m ready to do
it no matter how tough and bitter it is because that experience taught me that
I’m capable of dong anything, even writing a short sad poem.
I got the support and I own
the love that I need, my heart is grateful for the ones who made me feel
special and strong, the ones who believed that there’s nothing that can stop me
from being who I am on the journey of chasing young dreams. I achieved a lot
and grew up a lot in the past seven months; the greatest lesson I learned
during that time is that I’m never alone. God blessed me with great people who
stood by my side and I’m thankful for that.
Today we’re here and we don’t
know what we’ll find in tomorrow. I always looked for the answer to my secret
question and I haven’t found it yet. I was dying to know the reason behind the
hard times; I prayed that it doesn’t take long to appear. Today part of it appeared,
I’ll share it with you and I hope you learn.
We cherish happiness after
tasting a cup of despair.
I'm grateful for that long journey and today I'm happy.
_____
Hope and Love
Maitha the Parrot
