Left With No Regrets

Blogger’s challenge #13 – Listen to ‘Shadows and Regrets’ by Yellowcard & interpret/perceive it whichever way you’d prefer. It's a short story.

I don’t remember how her face was at that moment because I was standing behind her; she didn’t know that I was there. She chose to be the last person to enter that room. She walked in slowly, she didn’t cry or scream like everyone else; she sat quietly on her knees close to his head.

The room was purple, it used to be light purple but that day it was very obscure. The only bright thing was the white sheet that covered his body. Whoever walked in this room wept or yelled but not her, she sat there observing his face for couple of minutes then she placed her dim face between her hands, she looked like a toddler starring at her favorite cartoons. I wanted to see her cry, I wanted to know how she felt but there was nothing but silence. Then she moved her hands closer to his face but she didn’t touch him. He was whiter the snow and his cheeks were pink like a freshly picked pink rose.

“I miss you already.” She said. I raised my head muttering to myself “Finally something..” I moved and sat where she can see me. She looked at me and then she went back to her conversation, as if he’s listening to her..

“I recall how you used to take me to school on your rusted bike.. I don’t know how it handled both of us but at the end I reached school and you went to your work.” She giggled a bit. “Then we grew up; I joined university, left our small town and went far away. I thought that’s how I’ll throw my past behind me but I was wrong. I saw your shadow everywhere. Four years passed then I got married, you were there to share my happiness. A year passed then I had my first baby and you had your fifth baby, we shared our happiness.

You were with me ALL the time, even through my sickness; we consoled each other by sharing the same type of sickness; but I fought! I fought hard because I didn’t want to leave you or anyone.. You didn’t do the same” her voice trembled. “You gave up so easily!” She took a sharp deep breath, while my tears started to stream out of my eyes.

“Look at you now! Here lying helpless” she covered her eyes to hide away her tears. “Uncle, I need you, I want you. I’m still suffering with this kind of illness; you should’ve not left me!” she commanded. “I’m still a kid, I don’t want your shadow to be around! I want you to be around.. To protect me, to tell me that everything is going to be alright, to help me raise my kids and grand kids.

Uncle I want you to open up your eyes right now and say ‘Kid don’t worry, god will help us.’” Then she folded her arms and sat back. I thought she was waiting for something. I kept on staring at her while here eyesight was fixed on his closed eyelids. After a moment she looked up and I can finally see her tears. “Baby he didn’t open his eyes.” She talked quietly while shaking her head.

“Mum he’s dead.” I talked calmly; I didn’t want to freak her out. I closed my mouth regretting those words, then I saw her red face and heard her loud scary sobs. I jumped to hug her, “Mama, it’s okay! We’re here, we won’t leave you alone.” I hugged her tighter.

“I want him.” She gripped my arms and bawled, “I want him to know lot of things! I want him to hold your sister’s baby, I want him to see you graduating, I want him to witness the day where they find cancer’s cure.. Lot of things!” her moans interrupted her words. At that instant I swear I could feel her pain but I refused to weaken. I held her face, “Mama, he gave us a lot to remember, he’ll always live in our beating hearts. Don’t regret anything precious. We’ll meet him someday in a place where pain becomes a myth. You’ll be reunited with your best friend and everything that saddened us one day is going to die and we will live forever.” I smiled to distract her tears.

She wiped away her tears and kissed his emotionless white face. “My daughter said that I’ll meet you in a better place, wait for us there.. We’ll be there as soon as god want us to be.” Then she held my hand and we walked out of the room. We left with no regrets because we shall see him again.

...

"This is our temporary home. 
It's not where we belong. 
Windows and rooms that we're passing through. 
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going. 
I'm not afraid because I know this is our 
Temporary Home."

_____Hope and LoveMaitha the Parrot