Say it

Before you read, I want to ask you a question!

Did you hurt somebody?

Yes, take a moment and then answer. I don't want you to feel bad because you're a human and humans make mistakes! Different kinds of mistakes and harming others can be one of them.

There are 3 types of hurting others:

1- Physically: It's when you physically hurt someone by hitting him/her or any other way that might cause a physical pain.

2- Mentally: It's when you argue with them -typical human behavior-

You may say something that you might not mean or maybe you do and it might wound their soul.

3- Emotionally: It's when you neglect someone or make them feel hated or left behind.

Almost all of us experienced one of these pains, either as the abuser or the victim. I'm not writing that to let you know more about your pain or make you feel bad because you  hurt someone. I'm actually targeting the "abuser" .. Someone like us, creatures full of flaws.

Before I start explaining more I want you to ask yourself a question.

What shall I do to make myself and the victim feel better?

If you couldn't find the answer, I'll tell you what I do to feel better. It's really simple and nice but if you're cold hearted person or stubborn then close the page because what I'm about to say needs courage and a loving heart.

It's "The Art of Apologizing" just leave the art and let's focus on apologizing because I didn't master that art yet.

Apologizing: 'To offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury.'

Fault and insult.. Hurting someone mentally.

Failure.. Hurting someone emotionally.

Injury.. Hurting someone physically.

So apologizing covers the three kinds of pain.

When you step on someone's side and make them feel bad don't hesitate to apologize, let your pride behind you because you have to admit your mistakes! Denying them will make matters worse for you and the other person. They'll stop trusting you and they might hate you; nobody wants to be hated! (Unless you're a rap songwriter and want to include "haters make me famous" then you should meet a therapist.)

Apologizing shows the other person that you truly love them and care about them, don't hope that they'll forget and move on because they won't! Even if you apologized they won't forget but they'll remember that you admitted your fault after hurting them and that would make them respect you more.

BUT! Apologizing can work against you when you repeat your mistakes and you keep on apologizing. You can't say "sorry" and hope things work right because apologizing is a word that needs to be followed by an action! You must show the other person that you're really sorry and you're willing to make things better.

At the end I'll repeat what I said earlier, we're not flawless and it's okay to make mistakes but it's not okay to deny the mistake and keep on repeating it! Promise yourself to be a better person, a person that give his best to makes himself -first- and others feel better.

Try to master this kind of art..

Say I'm sorry before it's too late..

_____

Hope and Love 

Maitha the Parrot

Remind Me

We were in fifth grade when everyone used to run during P.E class but you and I would sit and talk about recipes, I guess you had passion for cooking since you were a kid.

At first they forced us to sit next each other and suddenly we became good friends.

Been so long but I still remember your dark long braided hair..

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

Do you remember when you had to move away, back then I didn't know you really well..

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

Do you remember when I was the new kid in ninth grade, I caught your eyes and smiled hoping that you remember me..

You spoke to me and I was glad. We went back to what we used to be.

Been so long since we sat next to each other..

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

Do you remember when we laughed on the silliest matters.

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

I want to go back to those day where nothing mattered and morning hugs made the day great.

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

Do you remember when we graduated I felt so bad because this time I'm sure I won't be able to sit next to you.

All I got those sweet memories and a white teddy bear that you gave me on my 16th birthday.

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

All the things that we used to do, now it makes me miss you even more.

Remind me if you can.. Remind me.

I hope you know and you never assume my love to you, because if they offered the stars and moon, nothing can ever replace you.

You're the song that's in a sea shell, no matter how I tried I can't get you out of there..

You're in my mind..

This time you don't have to remind me..

_____

Hope and Love
Maitha the Parrot

I Rise

I rise with every step I take toward my bed after working hard during the day.

I rise when someone calls me "stupid" or "weird" when I try to learn something new. 

I rise when you try to convince me that I'm not good enough but I shake my head and believe in myself.

I rise when obstacles lay on the path of my dreams and I get the courage to take them off and keep on walking. 

I rise when I see my parents smile, "dear we're proud of you"

I rise when I fall and promise myself to stand up once again. 

I rise when I fail once, twice and lot of times but I keep repeating “The next try is going to be mine.”

I rise with every punch I get from someone who used to be cherished because they taught me not to trust any person again.

I rise when I see my friend by my side, believing in my abilities.

I rise when my agony eats my soul but I fight it with belief.

I rise when my disability tries to stop me from standing again.

I rise when hopelessness tries to knock my door but I greet it with faith. 

I rise when I wake up and the sun blind my eyes, screaming "It's a new day!" 

I rise because I know that I'm worth it. 

I keep on rising everyday because I believe that I wasn't born to be an "it"

_____

Hope and Love

Maitha the Parrot

Caterpillar

It was a Monday night when I was roaming in my room. I usually sleep at this time, but tonight I'm sleepless.. I saw bunch of papers on my desk so I decided to sit there and try to write. I did so, but I noticed something.. I had a jar, I kept my caterpillar there.. Some of you might think that I'm weird because I'm raising a caterpillar but I love her, yes it's a “her” -I think- and tonight I didn't find her in my jar. I thought she died and that made me feel horrible because I couldn’t take care of a fragile thing, but again I noticed something; I squinted and yes it was a cocoon! My caterpillar didn't die, she's in there, hiding, feeling warm and I'm happy for her. I brought the jar closer to me.. And started singing,

'Caterpillar in the tree..

How you wonder who you'll be?

Can't go far but you can always dream.

Wish you may and wish you might,

Don't you worry, hold on tight

I promise you there will come a day..'

Then Aisha walked in my room without knocking the door and she stared at me with her tiny dark eyes and said "watcha doing?"

"Nothing sweetie I'm just glaring at my caterpillar."

"What's a caterpillar?" She took a closer look at the jar while playing with her short dark hair.

I lifted her and said, "Caterpillar is a tiny thing just like you, it starts small and then she build her own tiny home and lives in it so she can learn how to deal with her life when she grows up and fly." I avoided any kind of scientific explanation because she likes to get a simple description.

"But we can't fly" Aisha giggled.

"I know dear, but we fly when we go out and try to figure out this world and how to deal with things and people just like the caterpillar when it becomes a butterfly! She learns how to deal with the things that might hurt her and she learns how to adjust with things when everything seems wrong."

"Why do you sound sad?" She whispered.

"I'm not sweetie." Yes, I lied to her.. I lied because nothing seems right now, this person keeps on hurting me and I wish I was the caterpillar in that cocoon, away from everyone just living with myself; alone, sleeping and hoping that I'll wake up when things get right.

I remembered that Aisha is still staring at me, so I cleared my throat and said, "one day I'm going to be a butterfly who'll fly away, and I'll forget who's that human." Then we left the room so the caterpillar can sleep soundly.. Hoping one day I can be that caterpillar.

_____

Hope and Love

Maitha the Parrot

Behind it All

I sat on the old brown bench next to my class as usual; waiting for my friends to gather so we walk in at the same time. I’m always the first one to arrive before all of them.. After fifteen minutes all of them were there except Shaha. All of my friends started walking toward the class but I started stalling so she can catch up with me. I waited for six minutes, the class was about to start and when I was about to walk in I heard “Adam, Adam wait for me!!” she was screaming and smiling.

I asked her to stop screaming and I laughed at her. She was wearing Abaya with simple purple laces around it and her fuchsia lipstick made her smile look brighter, she always use lipsticks that declare statements.. More like “Hey, I can do whatever I want and none of you can stop me.”

She finally arrived and we walked into the class without saying a word.

After the class Shaha apologized and she told us that she couldn’t have lunch with us because she has lot of work to do. Once she walked away Hind said, “Perfect! Now we can speak.”

I attacked her, “Speak about what?? The girl just went and now you want to gossip! Seriously hind.”

Omran patted my shoulder, “Chill bro! What’s wrong with you? We wanted to plan a surprise party for Shaha, her birthday is next week don’t you remember?”

I felt horrible for shouting and I apologized to Hind for acting like a jerk.

We gathered at Starbucks and they started discussing what will they do but I wasn’t with them mentally, I was thinking.. If Shaha was here, she would order our drinks because she knows them too well, then she’d sit and tell us facts about coffee since it’s one of her favorite things and later on she would show me one of her poems; she’s one of the best writers I know and sometimes that makes me wonder.. Why didn’t someone recognize her? She deserves all the attention in the world. Omran pinched me and I almost fell from my chair then he laughed at me, “A dirham for your thought?”

 I laughed at him and myself, “Cause a dirham is better than a penny.”

We all left the place. I reached home at 8pm, I greeted mum and then she asked me right away, “What’s going in your mind.” She smirked; she figured that a female was involved.

“Nothing, umm Shaha’s birthday is on next week and I don’t know what to get her.” I looked down at my feet because I was sure that mum would tease me.

“Aww, how about you get her a teddy bear?” she asked.

At that second I didn’t know if I should be surprised that she didn’t mock me, or the fact that she told me to get the girl a teddy bear!

“Mum, she’ll turn 28 not 8..” I said

“Okay how about you get her perfumes?” She suggested again.

I frowned at her.

“Fine! Just get her something that stays forever with her.” she smiled.

“MUM THAT’S BRILLIANT!” I shouted. I hugged her and I decided to go out.

“Adam!! Son it’s 9:30, all the stores will close in few minutes.” She smiled.

“Good point! I’ll do it tomorrow.” I laughed at how stupid I looked. Then I remembered that I have to study because of my final. Poor Shaha her birthday surprise party was on the same day of our exam.

….

“Good morning! Today is the day!” Omran exclaimed and got our attention. Shaha looked confused because all of them had the excitement look on their faces and she couldn’t figure out the reason behind it.. She twisted her lips and today they were red, fire red and that suited her just like every color she picks.

We agreed to surprise her in Starbucks, that’s where Omran and Hind hid the balloons and cake. I was nervous all the time! I kept on asking myself..

I didn’t study well, what if I failed?

What if I forgot what I revised at the early morning?

What if something went wrong and the cake fell off someone’s hand?

What if Hind forgot the candles?

What if Shaha hated the gift?

UGH! Lot of things almost drove me crazy.

After the exam all of us sneaked and went to Starbucks, then Hind texted Shaha and asked her to come. We waited for her almost fifteen minutes because we all know that Shaha is a slow walker! Then Omran came and whispered, “She’s here, she’s hereeeee!!!”

We stood, held the balloons and screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”.. I saw her eyes, they sparkled and her smile made me even more nervous because she was too happy and I didn’t want my gift to disappoint her.. Yes I’m selfish..

She was too busy laughing and telling everyone about how happy and surprised she was because she thought that we forgot her birthday. Later I walked to her, shaking and so nervous, “Happy birthday Shaha.” I handed her the red bag, I predicted that she’s going to wear red lipstick that’s why I chose red and then I walked away, hoping she understands the meaning behind it all.

Epilogue.

I didn’t understand why he acted weird throughout the week until he gave me my birthday gift and I wished I gave him more attention! He was scared, I know and I wish I felt it earlier so I can make him feel better. I kept on staring at the red bag.. Shall I check it or not? Why did it make him shaky and nervous?..

I gathered all of the courage that lived in my body and looked at what’s in the bag.. I saw a black box and a card, I decided to check the box first then the card. I opened the box and the golden reflection caught my eyes and heart, it was a beautiful gold necklace. I kept on staring at it for a long time because I fell in love with it, the wandering session had to end when I remembered the card.

It was plain white card. I took a deep breath before opening it..

“Dear Shaha, I didn’t know what to give you or how to give it to you; please don’t get me wrong. I want this necklace to represent our friendship and how close we are, I want it to represent how grateful I am to have such a great friend in my life. Thank you, for being my friend and more.. Happy birthday.”

I decided to write a letter to him because I didn’t know how to respond..

“Dear Adam,

I loved your gift and don’t doubt your taste but this letter isn’t about the gift.. it’s about me.

I can see that you’re afraid of what we might do because we have a great friendship that I don’t want to lose but I don’t think I can handle sitting around while seeing you getting hurt by my presence so please excuse me and my actions.

Maybe I didn’t understand the meaning behind it all, but I hope it matches the meaning that lives in my head.

Yours truly,

Shaha.”

____

Hope and Love
Maitha the Parrot.