29th January 2014
Part of being a woman is to stand for my own kind and fight
for them but this time I couldn’t because I felt helpless and useless due to
what I saw. I saw the worse kind of pain crawl into someone’s precious body..
I’ll share it and my heart is literally broken over that
person because I witnessed with her what I fear the most.. I witnessed the death
of a broken soul.
….
Dear Maitha,
I’m sorry I haven’t written in a very long while but please
I want you to pardon me because you wont believe what happened!
Few weeks ago my uncle talked to my dad, his son “Hamdan”
the one whom I always described as a gentleman wants to marry me. Mom and dad
came and told me about him, they also told me that he’s a great choice because
no one would ever treat me the way he wants to treat me. He’s a great man to be
honest, he’s committed to his religion, he has his bachelor degree, he’s
handsome, he knows how to treat a woman right and above all they say that he
loves me.
Last week I told my parents about my decisions and it’s a
YES! Can you believe that I’m getting engaged? I’m not in love with him yet but
I hope one day I will fall in love and live my happily ever after.
I apologize again for not contacting you and I hope you
accept my apology.
20th November
2011
Love,
Mai.
….
Dear Maitha,
I apologize again for not returning your calls and that’s
because I’m going through hard times and I can’t talk to anyone. I’m ignoring
everything..
Remember the gentleman I told you about? The one whom I’ll
live my happily ever after with? Well, he decided not to.. He called my dad and
told him “Sorry I’m not interested in your daughter anymore, we’re different
and it won’t happen.” But that’s not the shocking part; the shocking part is
that my family and his see that it’s my fault! It’s my fault because after
building hopes for both of us with him for one year he realizes that he’s too
young for a commitment and it’s my fault because he’s a man, he can’t be wrong.
It’s my fault because I’m a girl who respects her family, so much which made
her, swallow a pill of humiliations and allowed it to inflame her heart.
I’m sorry for complaining about my stupidity and fantasies
but I need you now and I need your prayers.. Please don’t let me down.
30th December 2012
Love,
Mai.
….
Dear Maitha,
Life is full of ups and downs but mine has lot of downs and
most of the time I felt sorry for myself; but today I don’t because I think
life is finally smiling back at me, you want to know why? Keep reading..
A month ago I met an inspiring writer his name is “Fares” as
you know it means the knight and his friends call him “Bu Sh”hab” I think
that’s adorable.
He is a true gentleman and he treats me with respect and
love. By love I mean, I’m in love with him!
I’m in love with his laugh,
I’m in love with the way he imitates my voice at night when
I whisper to him so no one can hear me,
I’m in love with his smile that shows half of his teeth,
I’m in love with his tough and strong spirit,
I’m in love with his soul that lifts me up when I’m down,
I love him more than anything!
My mom knew about him and she was mad at me but he promised
to knock my door and my mom is fine with the idea but she asked me not to talk
to him, that’s tiring because I miss him even when I’m talking to him.. I love
him and we shall live our happily ever after.
30th August 2013
Love,
Mai.
….
Dear
Maitha,
I
really can't predict my life anymore, everyday surprises me; not by getting
sick or failing courses, it's much worse.. Maitha my soul is wrecked, or it's
getting wrecked.
The
gentleman,
The
happy every after,
I'm
not even close to that. My mom refused him and his family, that made me hate
myself, despise my existence. I wish he never met me, I didn't mean to hurt
him.. Maitha I love him! I keep telling him that every single day but he won't
believe me.. He says that I don't understand what he's going through and he
refuses to understand what I'm going through. My mum and dad forced me to say
yes to marrying my cousin "Ahmed" the one I told you about couple of
weeks ago. He's so full of himself and he thinks he's a saint, everyone sees
him as a saint but I see him as the devil similar to the one who made Adam and
Eve eat from the forbidden tree..
I
am tired Maitha and I love Fares, he's the only thing that forces me to smile..
I love him even though we can't be together.
15th September 2013
Love,
Mai.
....
Dear
maitha,
I
no longer have the power to speak or write. I can't fathom what's going around
me. I don't feel comfortable at all.. I'm done with this life.
Fares
and I fought easily, he threatened me to leave every single day unless I break
a condition and I'm tired of breaking things for his sake; I don't feel that
he's respecting me or my womanhood, he's being so fussy and I can't keep up
with him.
Now
he's living a happy life without me, he left because I refused to unfriend a
person, he thought that person is a pimp and he doesn't know him! Fares became
a very judgmental person, not the fares I met but I'm still madly in love with
him and I can't hold myself back. He's gone, and I no longer have something to
look forward to.
Maitha
tell me..
Is
it fair?
My
cousin ditched me because he got bored.
Is
it okay?
My
parents forced to marry someone I hate.
Is
it right?
My
fares fell in love and then out of it so easily while I'm here suffering.
What
about me?
Have
they though about me?
They
call me selfish but I'm the one who's being their doll, they place and replace
me so easily! They expect me to be fine with their actions.
Am
I an easy target?
Men
play with my feelings, they force me to love them and when I do they just walk
away, but I am a HUMAN! Do you understand that Maitha?
Maitha,
where's my happily every after?
Will
it walk in and never out?
Or
it'll keep giving me false hopes?
I
have lot of questions and I need answers.
25th November 2013
Love,
Mai.
....
Dear
Maitha,
This
time I'll keep it short.
Do
you remember when I asked you about my happy ever after?
I'll
get it tonight, so take care darling.
26th November 2013
Love,
Mai.
....
Dear
Mai,
I
keep calling you and I keep texturing you but I know that you won't pick up or
reply because you're gone.
I
don't miss you at all, but I'm happy that you got rid off this life, I'm happy
that you finally got your happy ever after. But what happened to the ones who
hurt you earlier? Did someone knock them so they get a taste? I was wondering
but now I have my answers.
Hamdan
is living happily ever after, he's working and everyone thinks he's a
gentleman.
Ahmed
is carrying on with his life and I don't know a lot about him except that he's
living a great life.
Fares,
the love of your life, the one you chose over so many.. Well darling he's the
happiest, he's dealing with your absence perfectly.. He's living his happily
ever after sugar.
It's not fair that they're living happy because of your misery, I can't find the bright side of it..
Love,
you're soulless body taught me that no one will stay forever, you're heart that
became numb showed me that screw them all.. All of them!
I'm
fine thanks to you,
I'm
great because of your happy ever after lessons but I feel bad because you had
to experience them so I can learn.. I love you and this the last time I'm
writing you.
28th January
2014
Love,
Maitha.
