Breathe Without Me

Bloggers challenge #23: Interpret a picture.

I opened my eyes it was a rainy day, the pretty lady wished me a good morning and then walked away. I wanted to move closer to the window and see outside but I remembered that there’s a plastic wire attached to my nostrils and a needle inserted in my thigh.

Nobody used to visit me at the morning, not even nurses and doctors. They all said that it was my time to rest but I needed someone to be there for me, especially during rainy days because they’re full of beauty and I wanted someone to share those moments with. You were there but you were thousand miles away and I didn’t tell you that I’m living in a hospital for now; I want to teach you how to live without me and so far you’re doing a great job. Sometimes I get mad because you can forget me at times but I always remember you, excuse my anger dear I think that’s the side effects of my medications and my soul..

I need you now more than ever but I live in a tragedy and this might bring you down even though I’m always lost when you’re not around.

Some days I cry and beg them to make the pain end; mum’s tears cover her face when she tries to say, "I wish there was some way to make them stop it"

The pain ease when you text me that you’re happy or you had a great day but sometimes it kill me because I feel that I don’t matter to you anymore; and again my whole damn life looks brighter when I feel your smile from thousand miles so cheer up beautiful cause you were brought up that way..

It nearly killed me the day where they put him in the ground and I’m really glad that I’ll stay for a short while because I’m sure that I’ll leave before you do and I know I’m selfish because that day might make you cry but at least I’ll be in a place with no pain at all just immortal happiness; I hope I meet you there after a long time, if you got there and I wasn’t around then pray for me that the flame doesn’t rip my pale skin and burns my veins more than the chemicals that they feed me now.

…..

The rain just stopped and I think I’m vanishing but before that..

I’m sorry for not telling you that I’m dying..

I’m sorry for not telling you why I’m upset..

I’m sorry for not telling you that I’m hurt..

I’m sorry for pretending to be strong when I’m fragile just like a rose petal..

I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me..

I’m sorry for getting mad at you and not telling you..

I’m sorry for feeling neglected by you..

Sister, this life isn’t simple and it isn’t easy, it barely gives us a break to breathe but sometimes we find someone who saves us and helps us to make it through.. Today nobody is going to save me from the fall out; my only savior is god so please keep me in your prayers as I fade fast.

Please breathe without me..

 _____

Hope and Love

Maitha the Parrot