Feel it All

My mother taught me that it is okay to fear something and it’s fine if you don’t want to get over it because it prevents you from getting into troubles but at the same time she taught me that not every kind of fear is healthy for you. For instance, I used to fear staying in my room alone and the moment I was left alone I always feared the unknown but when I was 18 I had to get over it because I had to stay alone. You see, fear can be developed and forgotten and just like any human I have fears.

Two days ago I had a conversation with my best friend about this new fear that I developed and as stupid as it sounds, it started terrifying me to death for the past two weeks and that’s why I thought about letting it out. My new phobia is “not being good enough” “unworthy” or “replaceable” for someone. I thought about the ones who chose to fall in love with you for a reason that you thought it makes unique and then use the same reason to fall out of love, maybe because they found that reason in someone else or simply because they woke up one day and decided not to love you anymore.

Just like you, I’ve been through this point, the feeling isn’t pretty and it sort of makes you lose hope in everything because if someone can’t maintain love right then what good is he/she to the world? Of course after letting loose of my thoughts my best friend told me that it’s stupid of me to give up on every relationship because I don’t want to get hurt, and of course I refused to listen because I’m stubborn as usual but I read a quote that made me rethink about that stupid phobia of mine

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power.” – Jim Morrison.

I might not be good enough for someone or maybe one day someone decided to change their mind about me and you know what, it’s okay because I hate to be the victim. Sure it hurts but I’ll get over it and one day it won’t matter to me at all just like how I didn’t matter to them.

We can’t force anyone to like us or even accept us; if they want to leave then darling let them. Keep your door unlocked and give them a warm pat on the back and be grateful because they taught you how to be strong.. and when it hurts you, remember that it’s better to feel it all rather not feeling anything at all like them.

_____

Hope and Love.

Maitha the Parrot.