I was Wrong

The amount of “growing up” I had to do in the last ten months drove me crazy. During that time I met a person that I called true friend at the beginning but recklessness and doubts walked in between and my feeling toward that person went from “Friend” to “Foe” I was devastated by that because I still wanted to have that kind of bond but unfortunately I had to let go under the name “for the best”

Later on this person taught me that there are people who’re actually better than me. Because I gave them hard times and I could be the most annoying person in this world but still they found a way to stay in my life no matter how hard I try to resist. I associate my rude actions with defending my pride where I’m nothing but mean and brutal not giving others a chance to explain. There are lots of things I regret, words I wished I didn’t say, lot of damage I can’t undo and I wish I can go back to do all of these things once again but that’s life, we get what we’re offered.

Sometimes we wonder how did we survive the night, spending it with our crazy thoughts of whom we hurt and who hurt us; every night we think that we’re the victims and we accuse the others of being criminals toward us, but the truth is all of us are victims and criminals at the same time! We hurt and get hurt.

Today.. I feel that I’m the CRIMINAL, I feel that toward my dear friend whom I dared to call “Foe”..

…..

To that friend,

I’m sorry for shutting you out more than once.

I’m sorry for ignoring you whether you wanted me to be by your side or not.

I’m sorry for letting you go so easy, when you actually made a great effort.

I’m sorry for the moments where I turn to be irritating and bothersome.

I’m sorry for hurting you.

I’m sorry for not being so good at being “sorry.”

I’m sorry because one day I have to forget you but please don’t hate me for that.

I’m sorry for not telling you about how grateful I am for having you in my life.

 

I’m thankful because you taught me how to be forgiving.

I’m thankful for your sense of humor and your ability of making me laugh when I’m truly mad at you.

I’m thankful for the hard times you gave me because it made me stronger.

I’m thankful because you’re still good at being yourself when I changed.

_____

NOTE TO ALL OF YOU: This might seem as a personal post and that’s okay because my blog is like my diary, all of you are welcomed to read it and you’re also welcomed to use my words against me because I really don’t care if you can’t comprehend words right. MY point is, if you hurt someone please apologize to them –apologizing doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to admit your mistake- and show your gratitude toward things and people because one day you’ll move out of this world and your memory is the only thing that’s going to stay behind you. (I was wrong and I admit it)

Hope and Love

Maitha the Parrot