Born From A Struggle

“Mama it’s 11 am why do we have to wake up at this time?” she snaps back at me “People are waiting for us and you have to fix your sleeping pattern.” I didn’t get mad because she ended her sentence with “Yallah! Sodoo wake up.”.. I love my mom.

We were going to the great falls; I kept my notebook in my bag in case I came up with an idea about this week’s challenge “Break free”. Since Sophie told me about this week’s challenge my mind went through a dark phase where no thoughts to be found. When I told Manal about this challenge she said “GRADE 10” and here come the flood filled with thoughts.

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I remember what mum said back in February 2010 before she left, “Maitha I’ll be gone for one week, take good care of your brothers, your aunt is here for you! I know it’s hard to stay in a different place when home is close to you but please do it for me.” I nodded, at that time I didn’t cry; I didn’t cry when I saw her in the car smiling and my baby sister waving at me. I didn’t cry because I was in shock; I was doubtful! How will I take care of my brothers? How can I stay away from home for a week? The only thing that consoled me was my aunt. She was always there for me when mum was gone.

A week after a week.. My pillow hugged lot of tears. At night my pillow looked liked a bleeding immortal where my eyes at night became the immortals and my tears were the blood.

I seemed tough to everyone I know, like the toughest between them all. I never cried in front of my friends or siblings or anyone.. But I do remember sitting with my cousin, she was singing and I asked her to shut up because I couldn’t concentrate; I was lying, I asked her to shut up because of the song’s lyrics “I try to forget but I couldn’t, I fight my emotions but I remember it all.” She didn’t shut up so I shouted at her not because I’m mad at her but at life; I shouted and I cried because I missed my baby sister, I cried because I miss dad’s presence, I cried because I missed my mum, I cried because all of them lied about mum’s condition, I knew she wasn’t fine. They thought by lying to me they’ll protect me from myself but I knew everything! Their lies made me hate them because I was there when mum knew she was diagnosed with cancer; I was there when she fought hard!

My only goal was to make it and see my mum once again, I didn’t care about what the doctors said, I had faith and believed in miracles. I didn’t say goodbye to her because I knew that I’ll see her again, I wasn’t ready to live without her; I want her! I won’t give up to cancer, that won’t take my mum away from me.

During that battle another tragedy attacked. It was Saturday evening when we got a call from my mum, she asked us to call my brothers. My sister called my brothers, I saw tears falling out of her eyes, she hanged up and told me that my cousin passed away due to a car crash. My cousin left, my best friend left but it’s too early! I didn’t get to say goodbye, I didn’t thank him for being a great friend, so many things were left undone and unspoken, he left without a warning.. I called my mum to shout and cry “Why us?” she was so calm when she said, “God love us and he wants us to get closer to him.” I still recall this sentence with every obstacle I face.

After two weeks, my aunt said that after our final exams we’d visit mum. I waited for four months, I can survive for two more weeks that’s how I kept myself together. I started packing; I saw how my aunt was heartbroken about it because we’ll leave soon. (Without her I could’ve killed myself, she’s a great woman.)

On Wednesday during June, my aunt told me that we should move back to our house. When we reached there I saw lot of cars near our house. I was scared because for two days I didn’t speak to my mum. What if something happened to her? NO MAITHA!!.. I walked in, I saw my older sister, my grandma, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, and between them all I recalled a face, a face I saw every time I wake up to get ready for school, a face that looked pale when I was sick. YES! That’s mum’s face! The four months of pain and suffer were forgotten. My mother was there in front of me, I walked to her and buried my face in her hands, I hugged her and I wanted to hide her in my heart so no pain can find her because at that time I felt the warmth of her heart. Tears were there more like a river.

My heart beat, the light in my sight and the song that I enjoyed singing, we’re finally back together. At that time a new Maitha was born, fearless maitha who faced a dark nightmare but still she woke up as a winner.

In this world we get off the track and lose our souls but no matter what mum and I are still fighting that damn thing, we’re stronger because we’re together, united as one soul. We were ordinary humans once but now we’re soldiers that are ready to take every obstacle down.

Hope and Love  

 Maitha the Parrot