When I was on the plane I promised myself that
I’d write something. I didn't care whether it's good or bad but when I got off
the plane I changed my mind because all I wrote looked gibberish to me. To be
honest I didn't spend lot of time writing but I spent it wondering and asking
myself questions.
I wondered why did the strange lady started the
conversation with a weird question "is that you daughter?" pointing
at my little sister, I had to explain to her why am I here with her, we talked
and talked till our conversation ended with "sir you got a great daughter"
that's what she said when she saw my father.. How I felt at that moment? Happy,
confused, proud.. I was proud cause the old lady has two kids one is a Harvard
law student graduate and the other Georgetown graduate, I'm 18 years old
freshman who's still having doubts about her major but that lady didn't judge
me from that point but I think she judged me when I talked to her about arts
and literature, she knew that it was my passion and I believe that's her
passion too because I saw how her blue eyes shined over the wrinkles when I
started talking about Mark Twain though I didn't know a lot about him.
The Korean guy went back and forth, the Russian
kid was jumping and shouting at his mommy but the old lady and I didn't care!
We shut the whole world out and enjoyed our conversation. I was and still happy
because our huge age difference didn't matter, we watched Part of Me 3D
together and we discussed the lyrics of The One That Got Away.
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
She took a paper out and wrote this part of the
song, I kept my eyes on her hand while she was writing, her wrinkly hand showed
me that she experienced lot of things and learnt lot of lessons, her neat tidy
nails showed me that she still knows about everything that goes around and her
silver ring with small diamond peaking showed that she's loved by a faithful
man.
After examining her hand, she spoke and told me
how hard it is to lose someone you love, I told her that I know that kind of
feeling, I lost loved ones so many times! I think I broker her heart because
she gave me "I'm sorry" smile. I didn't feel like explaining at that
moment; it might give me hurtful flashbacks but I told her how everything reminds
me of my loss, she consoled me saying that flashbacks and memories remind us of
the lessons we learned.
The strange lady decided to sleep but as
usual I hate sleeping on a plane! So I kept questioning things and writing them
down, here’s what I wrote on my note..
“Right now emotions and thoughts are battling
in my mind and heart.
What will I do when the plane lands?
How cold will it be?
Will the people be nice to me?
How can I stop missing Manal, Alia and my KUers?
Can I stop missing Muffin’s face? But when I think about Muffin I
feel bad again because of what happened on Sunday, I should’ve asked her what
she want for her birthday instead of acting “I know it all” and buy Red as a
gift.
When I got Muffin’s reaction I was mad at both of us, I don’t know
if that’s selfish or not.. but I wanted to express how I’m feeling through
those tracks! Oh well you can’t force others into what you like. When I thought
about all of that, I felt like a total damsel because I wanted to cry and cry
hard because Muffin didn’t like the gift and I hated myself for having this
kind of feeling.
I hated myself because I enjoy convincing myself that I’m a cold
hearted person, I know that I’m lying to myself and others (Manal don’t laugh)
I hate to show others that I’m collapsing even if my feelings are preventing
the air to walk into my lungs, I bury them though they suffocate me, I burry
them, shut up about it and move on.”
Lot of negativity! Seems like a different person not me.. the good
thing is that I answered all of my questions when I landed
What will I do when the plane lands?
Enjoy living the dream.
How cold will it be?
It’s really cold!
Will the people be nice to me?
Yes, they’re nice and I met new people!
How can I stop missing Manal, Alia and my KUers?
Sadly I can’t stop missing them but I have to enjoy
the moment because I promised them that.
Can I stop missing Muffin’s face?
No! I can never stop missing her…
I can’t stop missing anyone but I should enjoy living my dream. I
promised them that!
Till I find another adventure..
Hope and Love
Maitha the Parrot
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